Fine, the D&D and lip gloss part isn't true, but Wisconsin linebacker Jonathan Casillas did get busted for being sloshed out of his mind while riding a moped. A fucking moped.The alleged incident occurred on the morning of Aug. 24, less than a week before UW opened the season at home against Akron. A preliminary report showed Casillas had a blood alcohol level of .15. The legal limit in Wisconsin is .08.
C’mon, pal, you’re a football player. You are the poster child for all things tough and manly. You like meat and potatoes, 5 o’clock shadows and Steven Segal movies. Not mopeds. Mopeds are for Lloyd and Harry, Europeans and guys who use moisturizer.
You’re screwing it up for all of us, Jonathan. If you’re gonna ride your moped, don’t get caught, dammit. We hope you weren’t drinking wine coolers that fateful night. Or wearing strappy sandals and listening to Collective Soul.
You’re screwing it up for all of us, Jonathan. If you’re gonna ride your moped, don’t get caught, dammit. We hope you weren’t drinking wine coolers that fateful night. Or wearing strappy sandals and listening to Collective Soul.
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